perspective

In Relief Society today we had a lesson on hymns. Someone started talking about an experience she had on her mission and I was… humbled. She told us about a really bad day that she was having when the hymn “Count Your Many Blessings” came into her mind. As she recited the lyrics (which, granted I’ve heard a million times before) it really hit home to me.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done

Lately I have been discouraged and definitely have felt like all is lost. But I’ve decided to try and count my many blessings (because let’s face it, the gospel is true, temples are beautiful… it’s all just a matter of perspective) instead of focusing on things I can’t control. Does it mean things will be any easier? Nope. Does it mean that all the pain will disappear? Not really. Does it mean that every morning I will wake up and my life will be going perfectly? No. But it does mean that I can see the sunlight through the clouds and be happy despite them.

Later in sacrament meeting it was pounded into my head again as we sang that song for the closing hymn. Although… I nearly passed out towards the end of the last verse because I hadn’t eaten anything yet today. I hope that’s not a sign…

Anyways, that’s what I learned today and I just wanted to share.

Orange Juice

Well, there’s so much to tell, but I kinda just want to get to sleep rather than have a full update. I think I’ll write about YA Retreat and Fall Fest tomorrow or later sometime. Just know that YA Retreat was absolutely incredible, better than I had remembered it. Fall Fest was amazing. So much better than last year when I ended up going home early.

I feel so much better about life right now. I’m ready to take on whatever comes my way. Of course, it generally seems like that’s an invitation for more trials. Things aren’t perfect, but I at least feel better now than I have in a while.

Ok, random thought (and the real reason I decided to post. Everything else would get up sooner or later, but this had occurred to me and I wanted to post it before I forgot.) Yaknow what I have really come to like as of late? Orange Juice. I know that’s a really dumb thing to really like, and something that’s so common that it’s like “wow, Brittny, you are a special girl.” But there’s more to it than meets the eye. For… as long as I can remember, I really didn’t like Orange Juice all that much. I’m not very picky when it comes to foods but orange juice had just never really tickled my fancy and I would avoid drinking it whenever possible. For some reason, over the last several months that has turned around. It’s almost something that I’ll crave now. How weird is that? Anyways, no real point in telling everyone that, just thought I’d let you know how much I like Orange Juice all of a sudden.

Sorry, random mood. Had to post that. I think I’ll go to bed before it gets even more random. Good Night! 🙂

Thirteen

Wow, do you ever feel like you were just a little kid a second ago… and then all of a sudden you’re here, and now? I don’t feel like I ever really grew up. I think that I’m still that same little girl that I’ve always been, and I don’t think that will ever change. I still skip across the street at midnight in my socks. I still love watching storms coming knowing that I can go dance in the rain. I still dream of being a princess. Does that ever go away? I don’t think so. Just the innocence of being young… we hide it away but it’s never really gone. I know as I got older I found ways to hide it and pretend that I was older and more mature than all of that… but it’s just as much make believe now as it was when I was a little girl.

Anyways, I just watched a great movie tonight that totally took me back to being thirteen… probably more like eight actually- but in the movie the girl was 13. The movie is called Thirteen Going On Thirty. I think Amy summarized the movie and my feelings afterwards the best… she quoted someone else but I don’t know who. She said, “We don’t ever really grow up, we just learn how to act in public.”

On a completely opposite note, I think I’m growing. Isn’t that happy! 🙂 (wow, i really am still a little girl) I don’t know how much or anything or even if it’s anything significant. But I was standing next to Amy tonight, and she seemed less eye-level than she’s always been. Totally weird. I am fully wishing that I had a tape measurer so I could see if I’ve broken 5’2″ yet. *crosses fingers*

Well, tonight I’m not in public, and I’m not acting. This little princess is going to lie down in her bed and dream of a castle far away with a Prince Charming (but if he happens to be an ogre that she loves, that might be even better.)

Thought for the Day

I went to my Doctrine & Covenants class today and the teacher said something that I wanted to comment on. As we were leaving he said “Don’t forget that today is your best day ever.” At first I just laughed thinking “please tell me you’re kidding me… because right now, I’m not really in the mood for the best day ever.” Then he said, “Even if you have challenges right now or you’re sick or whatever, today is your best day ever.” It was sorta a reality check for me. I’ve said this a million times before and I’ll probably say it a million times again. Our lives turn out however we want them to be. We can choose our attitude and that is really what controls our life. No matter how many times I think that over (heck, i’ve been trying to write a book to that effect…) I still keep needing to re-learn it. So, I’m going to make a commitment, right now. Yes, currently a major part of my life sucks, but I’m going to try and make the best of it. I’m going to take this next year to get everything in order and just take care of the things that I can control. My schoolwork, how i run my life, getting in my 100. Until I can change my parents’ mind I’m going to at least make sure that I’m using the time given to me well.

Today has overall been pretty good. I got $1000 into my checking account from savings, my new bus pass, ran into my old roommate, and got officially added to the YA tech crew again. The last one was pretty cool. They already had 8 people enrolled in the crew which is usually the total they allow on, but since they wanted me back enough, they made it a 9 person crew so that I could come back as a spotlight operator. That really made me feel good. China & Korea here I come!! 🙂

Heart still hurts, but I’m surviving. One day at a time I guess…