Feeling Protected :)

Wahoo!! As of right now I am two months away from getting married to the man of my dreams- Eric Andrew Hansen. The wedding is mostly planned, and pretty much everything is now set. All that we have left is to get through to the end of finals (suck fest), survive my 3 week tour with the Young Ambassadors and we’ll be off! I’m so excited, I am the luckiest girl in the entire world. He proves that to me every day, and today several things happened that I needed to post.

Eric and I have been wanting to watch Charly for several weeks now. I know most people will read that and think that I’m one of those annoying we-have-to-watch-a-chick-flick girlfriends, but that’s not it at all (although, I will admit that for some reason, over the past several weeks whenever we sit down to watch a movie I just don’t have the brainpower to watch anything with much of a plot, so poor Eric has sat through several chick flicks with me lately). Actually, if I remember right, Eric was the one who brought it up as a movie he really wanted to see again. So, today we finally went and found the DVD at one of Eric’s neighbors and watched it. Towards the end of the movie I was watching Sam (the main character) taking care of his wife Charly as she was going through chemotherapy. It instantly made me think of how Eric has taken care of me recently when I got my wisdom teeth taken out. He has been so sweet and wonderful to me I can hardly believe it. I don’t know how I could possibly deserve a man as amazing as he is. It was really touching to watch Sam and remember all that Eric has done for me. It was breaking my heart to watch that movie and think of Charly leaving Sam. I don’t know that I could ever leave Eric. Just the idea of it just wrenched my soul and I sat there crying. Of course, Eric, because he is so amazing, just held me tight and tried to soothe me. That just added to the feeling of love I have for him, and intensified the feeling of never wanting to leave him… so I ended up crying more. Then, of course, the movie has a really sad ending with Charly dying. In the movie, there is a part where Charly is trying to teach her 1 year old son to say her name. She starts crying and asks if he will remember her after she’s gone. I can’t even imagine that kind of heartache. To know that this baby that she loves will grow up with out her, just tears at my soul.

Just as the movie was ending Terry Jr. (a big wooden cutout of a nutcracker that the guys have in their apartment… don’t ask, it’s just there, accept it) was thrown back in through the window by Eric’s roommate (he had thrown it outside during conference… again, don’t ask, just accept it) and it landed on my head. That hurt, and since I hadn’t quite pulled myself together from crying before, it set me off again. Before Matt could even come in Eric had jumped up off the couch and was ready to defend me. I wanted to stop him, because I really was ok and I knew that it wasn’t intentional, but it was so sweet. I don’t know a better word for it. I just totally felt like Eric was there watching out for me, I mean, I always feel like that, but it was just really touching to see that in action. Of course, that again just increased how much I love him and the waterworks continued. I was just so overwhelmed with this love that I have for him. He finally was able to calm me down. I was so impressed with his patience, just holding me and stroking my hair etc. while I tried to pull myself back together. Eric is the first person outside my immediate family who I have cried to since… at least since I was 9 years old. He’s way too good to me. I can’t even describe how much I love him and how much he means to me. I’m eager to be sealed to him for time and all eternity in a couple of months. I truly believe that I am the luckiest girl in the entire world 🙂

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